Intense Storm

My thoughts are in so many places right now. I’m excited about life. I feel like my life has been on pause for a year because I went through an intense storm orchestrated by God. It’s truly something else when you’re in a phase of life where you can’t do the things you would like.  It’s funny how this very experience caused me to give more thought to the sick and shut it. I began to think what it must be like just to have your life on hold in a sense. Im still brain storming on actvities I can do with the sick and shut in. I don’t mean to make them some like zombies..  I really began to think about the things some people may take for granted or think nothing about. It was pretty intense living back home with my parents as a twenty seven year old adult. I discovered many truths about my family that I didn’t want to deal with or ran away from.  I began to remember how my stepdad and his character played a role in me getting the hell out of there! lol I made sure I got all my ducks in a row so that I could attend college that fall back when I was about twenty. Before this time I was attending a school that allowed me to commute and live with my parents.

My parents would get on my nerves back then as with most teens who parents annoy them, but nothing compared to living there when I had mentally evolved on so many levels as an adult. I feel like God brought me back to that place to deal with all that I had grew so distant from. It’s funny how distance from individuals can almost sometimes create a more ideal image of them in your head. As time passed I had more of a positive image of my parents because I wasn’t there to deal with the “family stuff”.  Many times in families there is so much unsaid or covered up. During my time living back at home I quickly discovered that the perceptions I had as a child came full circle with the conceptualization of an adult. To complicate matters my boyfriend and I both lived with my parents for about ten months. It’s a complicated and intrigual story of how this not so ideal, yet God orchestrated reality came to be. I was very appreciative for a place to stay during economic hardship, but boy so much happened during this time I don’t know where to begin. After such a long period of time I’m beginning to breathe again, and get to a place where I can let go and fully embrace the “newness” in my life.

*Disclaimer* I’ve appreciated all my parents have done for me throughout the years. I by no means think they are bad people. Like most parents they can be loving, yet set in there ways, and expectations for my life. So , now that we’ve cleared that up, where do I start? I by no means can capture everything that occured in a blog, hell it may even be a book someday, seriously. But to sum things up, currently my relationship with my parents is in a very awkward place. Many times parents encourage their kids to be strong, voiced, and have your own mind. Well when this occurs parents usually aren’t ready for the reality that in shaping that, it means your child or children will grow up and have their OWN mind! Thus, many some values you embedded may hold true in their lives, or they may challenge certain beliefs and form their own when they begin to walk in their OWN truth. I know, I’m being a bit dramatic by capitalizing own, but it’s not as serious as I make it, but it has been important to me. My parents like many had a set of expectations in their mind of who I should be, the profession I should have, when I should marry etc. The reality is I’m just not that type of chick. God has blessed me with my own brain, which means I may not want to marry at the courthouse because you did that, I may not want to live in a small town that limits my creativity and doesn’ t embrace individual expresssion. You get the point. I really hate sounding like a teen, but God revealed some ugly truths during my stay with my parents. Being in this situation made me realize more than ever not only who I am, but who I’m not. 😉

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