I’m passionate about truth, character, morals, and principles. It’s taken me quite sometime to get the hint that in the real world many people simple don’t care about these concepts and that’s fine too. We are all wired differently. My boyfriend says I’m the most passionate person he knows. lol When he told me this it really hit home for me. The things that God has placed in me, I am passionate about. Not one of them, not two, every last single deposit that God has made within me is something I greatly care about and if you get to know me it shows. When others have walked away from an argument, I’m hung up on the principle of the matter. And they don’t get that. They usually think I’m hung up on the arbitrary details; when that’s just not the case. They are usually looking at the surface, while I’m hung up on the principle of the matter. At my very core I need these concepts to breathe. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but it is so. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, a just cause, helping a stranger, making homemade carpet cleaner, decorating my christmas tree, uplifting a friend, researching my political views, whatever it maybe I tend to do it with passion. Does this mean I’m always my best? Absolutely NOT.. I care so deeply and fervently search for truth. In a world that can be cruel, cold, and uncaring, it can be hard dealing with not so nice personalities to maintain that passion but so far I do. I pray I’m able to hang on to this throughout the duration of my earthly life. It’s one of the many things I thank God for. I guess the best way I could describe it is.. say there’s a rally, there are people that are fired up during the rally, then afterwards they go back to whatever their “normal” is. But for me, before the rally, during the rally, and after the wheels of my mind, and fire of my passion are still going, which is why I have to find more constructive ways to channel this.
My passion for many things can work against me because I want people to care in a way that they may not be capable of. I also understand people care about different issues. My passion is something that’s hard to describe. It’s almost like this inner energy that’s eating away at my soul and won’t turn off. I know this is a crazy way to describe it, but it is so. I’ve learned depending on the context how to suppress it. But I can’t suppress it too much! I know it maybe weird to blog about passion but it’s very real for me. This doesn’t mean that I’m always sunny and in a good mood. I can passionately dislike you. jk jk I kid.
On a more serious note their are few that get this about me. Even my boyfriend at times doesn’t fully get it , but he 90 percent gets it. I can’t expect him to fully get it to an extent because he’s not in my body. There are few people that get this about me. I tend to hide the depths of my character unless I’m really close to you. My immediate family is finally getting just a very tiny inkling of how I operate. Many principles that sound good in practice, I try to actually live out, and people often act as though I’m kidding. I’m NOT! I think that’s why it agitates me when people throw around cliche’s that sound good on their facebook status because they think that’s what people want to hear or because it makes them look good. Because a good percentage of people like stuff because it sounds good, but it takes a lot more effort to live out certain concepts. In short God constructs us in different ways and gives us all our own unique set of things that set us apart. I feel that my inner fire or passion is derived of God. I promise you it can be the greatest thing or the thing that nags me because it won’t cut off. I have to find positive outlets because my passion hardly ever sleeps, even when I try to convince it that I’m done. I try to convince my brain I give up, I’m done, I want to be numb, and feel nothing. I get away with it for a short duration of time, then she returns. Who is she? Passion. 🙂 Passion is something God deposited in me, telling me I won’t quit. When others stop caring, that inner fire within me will be unsettled searching for a way to find light..It’s a feeling that some share when they dare to dream the dreams they dream. Dream! 😉