I think it was Maya Angelou who said “Most people don’t grow up, they age.” Lately I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching. In light of this process it’s caused me to really observe those around me, not that I don’t do that anyway. (tehehe) I’m realizing more and more that many people don’t mature they just age. I’m also realizing it seems that many people don’t want to mature and even avoid the process in various ways. I observe so many people going through the motions of doing “adult” things such as marriage, kids, buying a house, paying bills etc. However none of these things are synonymous with maturity. Sure, it’s responsible to take care of your responsibilities, but in the sense of one acting mature not so much. Acting mature can be subjective, but hopefully you get my point. Pain and unresolved issues could be to attribute for so many adults that age but not mature. It amazes me how many adults seem like adolescents trapped in adult bodies. I’m sure for many of you this isn’t a newsflash. It’s something I began to observe about six years ago, but it’s hit me more so as I reflect on those around me. There really is a distinct difference between aging and maturing. Well here’s to life and figuring it out as we go along.
As human beings we are often complex and far from one dimensional. I truly believe knowing yourself and learning to love what you find is the foundation for the everything else in life. This concept in and of itself seems relatively simple yet many spend time fabricating an image for the approval of others. It’s such a liberating thing to just be who you are. When you dare to be yourself it alleviates the unnecessary pressure to fit in or be something you’re not. Learning who you are never goes out of style unlike trends.
In expressing this of course that means we won’t always be compatible with others. I’ve been in the process of learning to accept people for who they are. *clears throat* I’ve learned that how I do something may not be your way and vice versa. This also entails letting go of the image you may create of someone vs. who they truly are. The bigger thing to remember is that it’s okay, as we all have a unique blueprint tailored made to who we are. I’ve spent so much energy in the past on being frustrated because I was misunderstood. I also spent a great deal of time being frustrated when I didn’t understand others. Often times our perception is limited.
We are all wired differently. We all have an internal wiring if you will, as well as different life experiences that shape the way we view things. But none of this begins to become apparent until we embrace being who we are. Which just maybe our ever evolving, bundle of contradictions, with good intentions selves.
I’m often drifting, wandering, and seeking. I’m curious by nature. My curiosity can be a great thing or not so great depending on the discovery or experience. I think over the last year or so I’ve felt a bit lost. It was a challenge for me to admit this to myself and verbalize this to maybe two people literally. What they didn’t know is; I gathered courage to discuss feeling lost and choosing to confide in them. I think being lost has more negative connotation than positive. As a result in my mind I thought it was a not so great thing. If you picture being lost as a kid it incites fear. If you picture being lost on a road trip it may incite frustration. Surprisingly I felt more indifferent. I felt like a blank slate mixed with small amounts of frustration.
I found it quite ironic that I’ve learned a lot this year in spite of feeling lost. Then it hit me , there is discovery in being lost. I’ve tried new things and stretched a bit outside of my comfort zone. I never get to dwell in my comfort zone for too long. But how many of us do? Life generally has a way of challenging us, or pushing us, no matter how much we kick or scream.
I think many people are unsettled by not knowing what’s next, including myself. I’m learning there is beauty and discovery in being lost. The more I discover I feel a little less lost as this journey unfolds.
Image courtesy of pixabay.com
I’ll just jump right into this. I’ve never been one of those people planning my life out in precise details. But like many people I did have certain things in mind. I don’t think it’s bad to plan or have an idea of what you want for your life. But I think many of us realize with time we have little to no control over life. The universe has a way of directing our paths and placing us where we’re suppose to be. I guess it’s more giving up the life you had in mind to embrace the one you have.
I realize some people plan their life and things align up the way they thought. But whether it’s you thought you ‘d have kids, or live in a certain location, or start a business by a certain age, life happens. I’m not suggesting don’t work towards goals. I guess I’m suggesting embracing the cards you’ve been dealt and playing your hand so to speak.
What’s on the other side of fear? Lately it’s been playing in my head to fear less and do more. This year I took baby steps towards things outside of my comfort zone. It’s amazing how often we all become comfortable in whatever the familiar is to us. It’s so easy to do. Even in discomfort we often try to find something to cling to, to make things more comfortable for us. Lately I keep telling myself I have to fear less and just do. In some regards I did that a tiny bit this year. But I guess I feel a pull to dig deeper. I realized on a deeper level this year to create the life I want takes intention, persistence and doing. I’ve been dreaming for far too long. I’ve been a dreamer from a very young age.
I’ve been wondering and seeking for quite sometime now as well. I still don’t have a clear cut idea of where I’m going. I just know I have to keep searching and enjoy the journey along the way. I know I’ll know it when I feel it. This is the first year I’ve gotten more feedback . I also tried on a few different hats this year. While I haven’t found my “it”, I’m proud that I’ve actually taken more steps this year. Often we have good intentions that we forget by March. But I put in more effort this year, and I’m proud of that.
I digress as usual. Why do we allow fear of the unknown to stifle or hinder us? While I overcame this in small ways this year, there is still lots of work to be done. In learning more of my family history this year, I realized the ways in which fear played out in the lives of others. Death is certain so why not give life your all. I often plague my mind with “what ifs” and I’m sure I’m not alone. So here’s to overcoming fear more , knowing that on the other side generally is growth albeit painful at times.
I’ve reached this new level of consciousness in my life that feels strange because it’s different. I’ve read about this through Eckhart and Deepak. I can’t put it into words well. As I evolve through life I’ve reached a place where certain things just don’t matter. Sometimes people may take my silence as an indication of not caring. I find that sometimes people equate love or care with reactionary responses. A guy I knew from college made a statement that kinda fit with my current state. He’s one of those guys that rarely gets mad. He said he generally ask himself “Will this matter a year from now?” Generally for myself the answer is a resounding “no”. I’ve never thought to think of it that way. But given my new level of consciousness I get it.
It makes me feel kind of strange. I don’t want people to think I don’t care. I am often silent in situations where I would normally speak. I guess I’m also learning I don’t always have to speak or say what I feel. There is power in words, so I choose my battles more so to speak. But through my own journey I’ve reached a new level of consciousness where things that once mattered don’t. This isn’t to say I never react to anything. But I’ve definitely grown in this regards. Most of the things that truly matter are intangible. Life has a way of reminding us of what truly matters.
Boy life is a journey that I’ve yet to figure out. I somehow don’t think we’re ever suppose to have it all figured out so to speak. Life wouldn’t be much fun if we had all the answers. It amazes me that the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. Life is full of layers . As the year comes to a close I like to reflect on what I’ve learned, the ups and downs etc . I learned a lot this year. I’ve grown more as I’m learning growth is usually on the other side of my discomfort. It’s a task to stay centered and motivated when life can become so chaotic and the world at times can be a not so pleasant place. But alas life is what you make of it and perspective is everything. Just as there is sorrow and pain, there is joy that surpasses all understanding. So here’s to smiling more and sharing laughs with those you love and looking at the trees for no reason at all. Oh and baking yummy treats! This is the time of year I bake the most. I love it. It’s certainly one way I express love. Happy November!